Well, This Will Be Awkward In The Future

Hey Doo-bly-doos.

Apparently Maddy Kays likes me.

And I really don't know what to feel about this.

I mean, she's pretty cool, I guess. I don't really know her too well, but then again, do I really know anyone in Drama 1-2 that well?
But there's the fact that I kind-of like Abby right now, which is a problem.

And the fact the last time someone liked me, which was in 6th and 7th grade, I didn't reciprocate and avoided her for most of the rest of Middle School. Which was awkward and I wish I could have taken it better, but hey, I don't know anything about this liking other people process.

Plus the fact that I'm not really into her, I guess. Which is something that you need, as I have heard from various sources.
But I'm also flattered that she laid herself out there, put herself on the line. Which is something that I can't do. There are those who would probably say, me among them, that she's a stronger person than I am.

But the fact that she did open herself wide leaves us with the unenviable position of having to talk about it, something that I don't relish, and will potentially be quite awkward in the future.

My only consolation is that I'm a better, wiser, and a much more mature and funnier person then I was when I was in 6th grade. And I hope to god it helps me here.

Half a Day Off School

Like-a-What?

We get half a day off school because OTHER people are doing work that we don't have to do?

Well, that's excellent!

What am I gonna do tomorrow? I think I'll run or read or relax or do something on the guitar or som-

Wait.

I gots to do homework.
Damn.

Why, homework, do you always have to ruin everything that's good?

A Brain-a-louge

What's this lying on the side of the road?

Disjointed, disquieted, writhing, screeching, pained.

And there go all the cars. Whizzing by an hour, half an hour, a minute too fast for the rest of the lives on this world.

Where goes the disquiet? Where goes the lost? Each hour upon the bulwarks on the earth, risen, rising, drifted upon the broken shattered waters of this discomfort. My words are lost in the blazes, in the miraculous, in the quiet dells and dips of an average humdrum living style, where I sit and ponder upon my decisions whether real or imagined.

Lost are those who don't see the beauty in the flight, who don't see the running as well as the escape and the follow through and the relentless racing, racing past the obstacles and through the illusions and above the adversaries, the adversaries, oh the adversaries great, settling upon the fact that life lives upon each leaf, each quiet, broken item on the side of the road.

VEDA

Hey y'm rascals!

I'm really enjoying VEDA this year, even if my videos aren't getting all the recognition that I hoped they would have gotten. But still, it's nice to hone in on your vlogging skills, even if I only do it for 1:08 at a time.

In other words, watch my videos and be pleasantly surprised.

Film Fest & ODS

Well. That went well.

Despite all of my misgivings, the Film Fest tonight went remarkably well.
And people liked my movie, despite its flaws. Huzzah!

Quotes:
"Jake's cool. But his movie was deep."
"Did you use an echo for your voice?"
"Jake, if they do a movie about my life, can you narrate it?"
"It reminded me of Trees in the Wind."
"I didn't understand it."

High praise. Especially from the Seniors.

And ODS is tomorrow! Which means I have to pack RIGHT NOW!

Andres & Fiona

Really?

Andres and Fiona?

I was not expecting that at all.
That was totally out of the blue and left field.
I mean, what?
I guess I just don't know enough about Fiona, man.
Gotta get on top of these things.

Oh, and find a girlfriend as well.
Man...

TCL Preview Today

I'm just glad I get the chance to do this stuff.

Editing

ARGH.

Sometimes, I wish that I knew how to work FCP, just so that I could laugh in the face of iMovie and say, "Look, I got it done and you couldn't do it! Hahahahaha!"


Still probably couldn't do it though.

Soon-To-Be Guitar

So I'm gonna get a guitar.

It's an Oscar Schmidt OG3.

I found it on Craigslist.

And you know what else I've found?

I've found out about different parts of the guitar, about what wood makes which sounds, about brands, about what the heck the action is, and the nut, and the bridge. Pretty much I've learned almost all that a beginner could know about a guitar, without actually playing it.

Oh, and I've also learned that other people find my guitar AWESOME.

Hecks-to-the-YE'ES.

Daylight Saving Time

Goodness gracious, it is that time of year again.

The time when everyone curses their lives and days and has to wake up an hour earlier than they want to.

Except for Arizona.

Friggin' Arizona.


Let's move to Arizona guys.

Gah

I've almost forgotten what it's like to feel good, I've been in pain or sick for so long.

My eyes are all dried up. Taking out contacts tomorrow.

Oh, and I had about 2,000% of my daily vitamin c.

Life. What the hell.

Something Different

I tried to make this into a song, but I couldn't find the right words, so instead I'll use sentences.

So I read an article about the nature of Indie the other day, about how it was dead, about how we killed it.
And one of the descriptions that was given of this dying Indie thing was that of the elephant and the 7 blind men: How each blind man touched upon only one part of the elephant, and forged his own interpretation of it from that flawed viewpoint.

I believe that's true, I guess (not really deeply into the Indie scene myself, but still). Indie is the elephant, composed of vastly different parts, so varied that no one is exactly sure what It is, but forging their views just the same.

What do people say Indie is? It's a way of doing business separate from the Man, complying under your own rules. Or maybe it's that general style of music, different from today's popular crap under any terms, be it folk to electronica and anything in between. Perhaps it's music for music's sake? What does that even mean?

My own question is; what does Indie music sound like? Does it give off a bit of authenticity, or is it all just a show, put on to look different and pretty from what is already out there?


And if it's out there to just look different, to just put on a show, who can say whether or not that's bad?


People are always saying, "Oh, what you need to do is look different, be different." "Remember, we're all unique here." "Show who you are on the inside."

But sometimes people, when trying to open up, get shoved to the wayside by the multitudes of people they're trying to connect with, who are the very reason why they're spilling their hearts out, without a single response in return.

They're alone with only their thoughts and feelings, and that's not enough to sustain a life. You can't just sit alone, you gotta meet these mobs and crowds, this general public. You have to get to know who they are. And if they don't listen to you, or look at you, or even acknowledge you for what you are right now, then you're going to have to be different in a way none expect.

You're going to have to show these others that what you do is so amazing, so astounding, that they have to pause and stare. You have to reach out and stop them from racing along this labyrinth we call life and make them listen to something else, a tune that brings them along on a different pace.

What you do to be different is important. If you're able to stand around and just be quiet, attracting others at random, then that's fine by me. But to get them listening to a noise of something other than their own squawking voices, then you have to get their attention by doing something different, something crazy.

Something Indie.

Running

So for the last few weeks or so, I have been running with my toes first, rather than with my heels first.
Why, you ask? Isn't it easier to run on your heels first? Isn't that how people run?

Nope.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that people have only started running with their heels first when actually shoes for running came out, namely from Nike.

Running toes first is actually better for you, easing off weight and pressure of your heel and onto the ball of your foot, where it's actually supposed to go. Plus, science has shown that humans evolved into the upright animals we are today with the fact that running on our toes helps us run for longer distances, perfect for hunting animals on the plains.

Science is boring, isn't it?
Really, I'm running on my toes to get massive calves.
The ladies love those calves.

The Only Thing I Can Think About Right Now

Lost is the best.

What the Heck Mom?

In a bizarre twist today, Mom tried to stop me from singing the lyrics to one of her favorite songs, Spaceman, by The Killers.

Apparently, she didn't know the lyrics, and didn't want me to be singing about ripping people out of bed and blood types.

To which I say: "What the Heck, Mom?"

It was very weird, as she doesn't usually get mad at me for something like that.

Then she told us that we couldn't make sarcastic faces at her, because they irritate her, even though we're teenagers.

To which I say once again: "What the Heck, Mom?"

Aw well, not much use doing anything about it.

We're Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo.

So today we went to the zoo.
And like many of our other plans, it was not the best thought out, mostly cause I don't have a cell phone and don't like waiting for people, and also we didn't have any money, cause the zoo is friggin expensive, but it was still a good day.

Aren't these days always the best ones though?
The ones where you just hang with your friends at the zoo, staring for an animal for about 10 seconds and then moving on, all for a measly 9 dollars? Shucks, almost starving was worth that.

I mean, we saw lions, wild dogs, tigers, bats, birds, sun bears, sea lions, otters, cheetahs, polar bears, giraffes, naked mole rats, rhinos.
Man, we even saw a BEAVER.

How can a day like that get any awesomer?

...

Oh, right.
Andres and I need girlfriends.
Oh darn.

ARGH

I'd forgotten what this uncertainty felt like.

IT IS QUITE AGGRAVATING!!!

Pain

How can there be a pain this controlling, this painful, that it has taken over all aspects of my life?

My health, my habits, even the way I sit and stand and lay down are affected by this.

Why is something so obviously hurting even allowed in the world?

What have we created?

You

How can this be?

How can it be I've only known you for days, weeks, but you're all that I ever think about now?

Is this just me? Just me mulling over the fact that I like you, and because of that, the like grows stronger and pulls me in?

Or is this the first stages of... who knows what? The only other time I've ever felt this towards another person was so long ago, I've forgotten what it feels like.

What is this thing I'm feeling? All I want to do as you sit next to me is hold your hand; carefully, "accidentally" brush your leg as you sit with them crossed, with one towards me as if you almost want it to happen.

And all I want to do is look at your face, just drink it in, trace the corner of your mouth when you laugh, respond to your quizzical brow with one of my own, and stare at that impenetrable smile of yours, the one where you look amused and bemused, playful and distant.

When you look at me, my heart doesn't skip a beat. Instead it glows; and when we bump into each other, whether on purpose or design, my insides glow as well, wondering if yours do as well, if your feeling the same, or if your feeling anything at all.

Because occasionally, it feels like you want me to sit close next to you, and simply listen with you about whatever troubles our group of friends has made for itself. Because sometimes, we make eye contact when there is no reason for it. Because you don't pull away after a brief touch, but sometimes linger longer than is necessary.

Because I want you to like me.

But I'm not gonna do anything now. Now is too risky, now is too fragile. Now is when I build something with you, a friendship that turns into maybe something more. Now is when I get to like who I hope you are, and who you turn out to be.

Now is for you.

Things to Say

I like the fact that, for a year now, I've had things to say.
Not that I didn't before, but before I didn't recognize them as things worth saying aloud (not that they're any more worth saying now.)
And you know... There's something tragic about that.

The greatest truth about words is that they have to be spoken, ideas that must be passed along.
And if you never feel like you have anything to say, then some part of you must feel that you don't have anything meaningful to contribute.

These days, the world may seem like more of a crowded place then it ever has. But the truth is...

We are really just one voice. And we all have things to say.

Lyrics

Yo Goyliogos.

So after writing the worst song lyrics in the history of everything (actually lyrics that I wrote down: Well first I got to say sorry/ that I've given you so much worry/ I know the first years were scary/ And that you probably got your hands dirty.), I'm actually feeling pretty good about the whole 'writing good sounding words that fit together' thing.

This brings up the question, however, how should I proceed with the song?

I don't have any real way of getting the music that is condensing in my head across; no guitar, no piano, no drums, not even fake ones from Rock Band or Guitar Hero.

This is a problem, which I don't really have the solution for yet. I'm just hoping sometime in the future, I'll have enough money saved up to buy me a guitar, and then... we'll see.

In the meantime, I'll just continue focusing on lyrics, because those are obviously the most important part of any type of music and if you don't have any lyrics than you are obviously not a real musician at all and no one should even listen to your music that's right I'm talking to you you composers mozart and bach and other guys that i don't really know the names to but yeah no one should listen to you they should all just listen to me

A Way To... Love?

So a little while ago, I wrote about a girl I once liked, and got some things off my chest about it.

And since then, I've begun to like another.

What do I do now?

Relationships are tricky things. Sometimes they work out, they go well, they're happy, shining bits of a dream. Other times... complications get in the way, or you realize it won't work, and your hearts' tears get wider, and your tears get wilder.

Right now, there are many of these same troubles and triumphs going on with my friends; hearts broken, love pronounced, promises just beginning.

Am I prepared enough to want to connect this deep with a person?
Do I even want to?
Will I just pursue it for a time, then leave because I actually don't feel anything?



Sometimes, in times like these, I guess it just comes down to: Does she make me happy?
And I think she does.

Beneath Our Skins

I can't see your face/
But You show me your mask/
We dance like there's no one watching/
That's all I ask.
People wonder why I'm hidden/
Under layers of skin/
Cause beneath I got a skeleton/
Who can't let go of what's in.

But you're peeling back my surfaces/
And causing ripples that turn to shocks/
You're grinding down my mountains/
And turning hilltops into rocks.

Oh, I wish that I could do the same for you/
But trouble is I'm not sure what to do/
You look at me as if you have forever/
But if asked if I know you I would say "Never."

You're the underwater deep/
If I sink too far I drown/
Still you know the ocean waves/
Every silence every sound.
I want to walk a mile in your shoes/
But can't find them anywhere/
Then you stop me from my searching/
Ask me to catch your eyes and stare.

Now I'm cutting down your facets/
So you sparkle and you gleam/
And you've grasped and grabbed my distant heart/
And turned it from coal to steam.

Oh, what couldn't I ever do for you/
Now that I know what is deep and dark and true/
You peeled and took away my dead old skin/
Even though we both know what is within.

EXPLOSIONS!!!

OH GOD HEAD FOR THE HILLS EVERYTHING AROUND US IS GONNA BLOW ANY SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S NO GOOD, WE'RE SURROUNDED BY TRIP-MINES, AND THEY'RE COMING RIGHT TOWARDS US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELL MEN, TODAY IS A BAD DAY TO DIE, BUT A GOOD DAY FOR ALL THOSE SOULS OUT THERE WHO MAKE A LIVING OUT OF CLEANING UP DEAD LIFELE _________________


Would you like some tea and crumpits Mrs. Nesb- HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS OF GOD HOW DID YOUR HEAD GET UP THERE?!?!?- on the other hand it will make an excellent mantle piece.


Do you guys have any explosion stories? If you do, than put them in the comments. NOW! RIGHT NOW! BEFORE THE INTERNET EXPLOOOOOOODDDDDESSSSSS!!!!!!!

Party Times

What?

Nevermind.

Anyway, Friday night was a success. I now want to play zombie tag for the rest of my life, if that is possible. (Is it possible?) I want it to be possible.

Tonight our house was party central. As in we had a party for our bar. And we played computer games. Par the course, I guess.

I think these two days have been pretty good so far.

Yesh.

Monopoly Night

Wow that night was amazing.

I mean, those are the nights that really mean something.

Like when you give speeches, pronouncing how excellent everything is.
Or when you stand up together, and sing Don't Stop Believing loudly and off key.
When devouring all the pizza is not only encouraged, but necessary.
That business transactions can always be interrupted by a good game of Twister.
Learning that, when you're down and out, Jail is sometimes the best option, but you gotta watch out, because after that is Death Row.

Man, that was fun you guys.

I can't wait til next month.

Today Is the First Day You Get Closer to Death Than Ever Before

What is with the title?

I fill up my days with excellent things.
It makes it okay to get closer to death.

In other news, today I ran/walked for two hours.
And got the CD I've been wanting for some time.

I shall call it: SUCCESS!

(And it will be mine. And it will be my success.)

Ms. Yang and the Bewilderment That Is Chinese Class For Us

Ms. Yang is a tiny bit ridiculous.

You know?

So, at the beginning of the year, I guess she was okay. I mean, I think we came to a bit of an understanding. Just feed us some of these words and don't get boring.

But it's hard teaching a multitude of surly kids when it's your first year, especially when it's us.

Anyway, now she acts just like every other Chinese teacher that we've ever had; constantly trying to maintain order, no matter what; giving us packets, focusing on ridiculous things like health and holidays that we have no interest in learning; and on the last test that we had, creating a situation where no more than perhaps one student was able to understand a good portion of the packet, and had no chance to do the portion that was 40% of the grade.

What?

All I really want to do is speak Chinese in this class. We don't have to learn any more history or do any China Trip studies; we have plenty of time. Give me a topic to discuss, give me a few words about it, and let us just discuss it in a circle or something. And please, for God's sake, DON'T MAKE ME LEARN ABOUT ANY MORE HOLIDAYS.

I DON'T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT ANY MORE HOLIDAYS. I CANNOT EXPRESS THIS ENOUGH. MAYBE THIS PICTURE WILL HELP EXPLAIN. I AM ANGRY.

Ah Whaaat?

Ah Whaaat? Ah WHaaaat? AAH WHAaaaaT?! AAAHhh WHaAaaaATTtt?!?!? AAAAAAHHHHHH WWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!!??!!!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!

In other news, the next Nerdfighter gathering in Portland will be June 26 and 27.

AH WHAT!?!

College Man... Crazy Stuff

Man, College.

I guess it'll feel a lot like this week.

Lots of studying, knowing that you know everything, but you just got to get a little more in.
Going outside for a bit of fresh air, and music.
Learning to cook, watching movies on the big screen, buying food from tiny little mexican places.

Man, it'll be good.

Her

I've never really gotten over her.

Even if I never really knew her.

And that's the sad part, really. That for so long these past few years she has been a part of me, and I never really knew her at all.

And it's not like I even mattered to her. Did I?

For years, those last few questions have just laid in my mind, dormant but exploding with force, like a volcano on the Ring of Fire.

Why didn't she dance? Why didn't she give me some parting words? Why did she turn so cold the last few days we saw each other? Or was it just my imagination?

Why didn't she say yes?

She never gave me anything. Only memories.

Like the time she ran through the fields like a wild child, and I sat next to the grass, just staring at her, wishing I could go out and run with her.

Or when she sat with us during lunch, too many times for me to remember any of them. Just remembering that she was there.

Or the time I asked her to dance. And it was so scary and I was so afraid that she would say no, but then she said yes and I could just burst with happiness. And at the dance I just stared at her and she said she said I looked straight into the eye of a person and that was something she liked.

And the awkward times, when all I wanted to do was to just sit next to her, be with her, and she just sat there, and I just sat there, and we never talked, just sat. Or when I called her, and asked her to be with me, at least for a little while, and this time she said no...

And then the last memory of her, on what might as well have been the last day of middle school it was so close. And we were signing yearbooks, giving each other reminders of who we were back then so we could look back and laugh at ourselves.
And I wanted to sign hers so badly and for her to sign mine. But I never got the chance and the last thing I remember of her was back through the doors next to the gym, and her head was turned, and I never got the last glimpse of her face, and all I wanted was something to remember her by. It was all I wanted...

And then summer came and went and I went into high school, determined to make myself anew, but still wishing that I could see her, for that one last image to carry me for the rest of my days.
And sometimes she comes back in my memories, just this girl, but so much more and so much less. And there's nothing I can do about it, cause I don't know what she felt about me, or if she ever felt anything for me at all, and all I can do is remember her as she was.

And the last thing I wonder is if I was the same, if all I left was memories that still burn an eternal flame, if she thinks about me and wonders who I am now, and if I've changed, and why did he never sign my yearbook, and does he still remember me, what if he's different and not at all who I remember, what will happen to us?

All I want is her, whoever she is now.

Song Creation

So I was trying to make a song using GarageBand, right?

So it should be easy, right?

Wrong.

What the Hell?

I spent, like twenty minutes, on an 8-sec part of a song that I don't even necessarily like.

So, um, if your CD's of other music seem a little short to you, well... It's just fricken hard to make really good music.

A Bit of Health Care Thoughts

Yo Wiggle-Mums.

A bit of politics for you. (I know, like, what is this? Don't worry, this rant will be over quick. Especially if you stop reading this.)

So, one of Obama's main goals is to make health care more available throughout the country.

And he plans to do that by pushing a universal health care plan, which will make health care costs go down and more health care for all go up.

But he can't do that, seeing as there is a Republican in a seat that was originally a Democrats'.
And his approval rating is apparently less than half.
And he actually hasn't done much this first year of his presidency.

So that isn't gonna happen. Plus, even if he were to put more everybody on this universal health care system, wouldn't that just create more debt? Maybe not, but still, seems like a huge risk, considering this isn't supposed to add to our debt at all.

So what's a president to do?

Well, the way I see it, you have to compromise. At the very least, you must realize that some people just don't want universal health care at this time, but they do want there to be more jobs and more money flowing. So, find a way through businesses to cut costs in this health care deal. Some of the republicans will like it, some of the democrats will like it, and some of both won't but that's life.

But businesses need an incentive to do change. They won't just do something for nothing. And a lot of highly-paid CEOs enjoy their style of living right now. It's not like they suddenly will change. Remember, corporations have no soul. And taxing won't don't anything; people, especially CEOs, don't like taxes.

Ask what these CEOs want. Isn't that the way that most people negotiate? They ask what the other wants, and then find a way to compromise between the two. These people aren't evil, they just like and have a way to get to a lot of money. Find what else they want, and what they will exchange for creating less costly health care, and getting more people into the system.

In this way, you can discover what they biggest people opposing these type of bills want, exchange ideas and thoughts with them, create legislation that will have the support of both Democrats and Republicans while still maintaining care and lowering cost, and everyone will be happy.

Whew. That was tough. Next week, we'll tackle, I don't know, God maybe. He's a good one to discuss about.

Drew

I've got this friend. His name is Drew.
I like him.

Only, I don't really talk about him, you know?

And I don't really talk about how or why I know him.

It's a whole different side of me that most people don't see in me. This Drew side.

In fact, I don't really face it head on myself. But almost every day, I get these messages people around me spew out as if they were fact. And in these little things, my other side pokes out.

"Excuse me, but that isn't quite correct." He says inside my head, silently fuming. "You just can't make generalizations like that, nor think, because you made them, that they are correct."

But everyday, the people I'm with make these generalizations, and every day, the side of me that's on the side of Drew gets a little bit more hurt each day.

And it hurts.

Week of the Dead

So it is now the week before finals this year, and I am kinda freaking out.

Usually I don't do this, so I am also freaking about that.

But this time, for some reason, I seem to be taking extra time to do this "studying" thing.

It may be because of Math, and my B that may or may not be in my mind but I sure as heck don't want it as reality.

It may be because of Chinese, and all those words and characters that I haven't had the chance to study at all.

It may be because I actually need to do some of this studying as classes are harder.

But I really just don't like it.

Or maybe ZOMBIES ARE INFECTING MY BRAIN OH MY GOD IT'S CALLED DEAD WEEK WE ALL MUST BE ZOMBIES AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOWAMIGONNASTUDYNOWHHHH
HHHTHISISNOTGOODATALLHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWHYGODWHYNOWHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHH!

Can You Stay With Me This Saturday?

Can you stay with me this Saturday?
And all the others afterward
Because there's never enough time with you
To do all the nothing we want

(To be finished at a later date)

Silent Streets

These streets are silent
The lights are on, but no one's home.
Streaking cars only
disturb
not disrupt.
Flying
seems possible tonight

This night when no one is watching

no one is watching

no one is watching


it's just me and the universe.

Losing Things

We all lose things.

Some we say don't really matter. Say, a hat, maybe a shirt.

Some, more so. Keys, people who we once knew, a phone number.

And some things, when we lose them, it's bad. Life, love, innocence, friends.

But all of these hit you hard.

Even if it's a bit, you've lost something.

We lose ourselves when it's a lot.

Passing By, Time Is

So you know how time can go slower or faster?

Apparently it's because the brain has no real perception of time.

It's all in how you spend it and how you feel about it.

If there's nothing to spend time on, nothing to focus on, then time will pass slowly, dragging on and on, but without any real acknowledgment from the person experiencing this slow time. So, if you don't have anything in mind, the day could pass by really slowly, so it seems, until your at the very end of it, asking, "Where did all the time go?"

But, if you have something to do, say a goal, or something that you've been working on, time could indeed pass by, but you'll be able to remember it better, as if it had passed a greater period of time. So, if you really wanted to fill up your days with memories, just make them full of stuff that you've been wanting to do, and the whole year will seem filled to the brim with interesting stuff.

Anyway, the point is that I'll always remember the time that I had with your Mom last night. That probably has taken up at least a years worth of memories.

(Hur Hur, your mom jokes, HILARIOUS.)

I Enjoy Sleep

Today, I woke about an hour later, on account of my mom sleeping in accidentally.

Tonight, I will go to bed an hour earlier, on account of no homework.

Today is a good day.

Haiti

You know, I don't really read much about the news.

Take Haiti, for example.

What the heck happened there?

There was an earthquake, I know that. The capitol got destroyed, I know that. I know that people are sad.

But there's so much I don't know.

I don't know how many people got killed, or lost something because of this quake. I don't know how much damage, perhaps irreparable, has been done to this place. Heck, I barely know what's happening when it isn't having a disaster.

And that's bad. For all we talk about knowing people, or as much as I do, I still don't know what's happening in Haiti now, or before, or later. Usually, I don't even want to know. What does it have to do with me? What does anything you do have to do with me?

But then I think about those people in Haiti, even (and especially) the ones that I don't know. And I want to help them, cause that's what I really want to do. Because it's not right to just ignore people because you don't want to deal with them.

You have to deal with them.

So I'm gonna make sure that I know about Haiti now, so that I can give a care about them. And next that they have a disaster, I'm gonna care about them too.

Not Enough Time

Dude-ly's.

HOW DO THOSE PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET DO IT? SPECIFICALLY THOSE WHO MAKE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE, AND NOT COUNTING ANYONE ELSE WHO MAY USE THE INTERNET.

I mean, seriously.
Sometimes, when I try to do a video, I don't. I mean, I wanted to make a video about Mongolia, but I didn't. I wanted to make a video about Hank Green and I didn't. And I want to make short videos. But I CANNOT BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME! THIS IS BAD STUFF!

Seriously, all I do is get up, go to school, go do homework, and then go to bed.

ARGGGGGGGGGGE.

As the infamous Calvin once said, "There is never enough time to do all the nothing you want."

Did YOU Know?

Did You Know...

That Charlie bit my finger, and it really hurt?

That all your base are belong to us?

That I'm never gonna give you up, and never gonna let you down?

That Swordfishes love you, Jellyfishes love you, and Starfishes love you in THE OCEAN BLUE?

You should leave Britney alone?

This... Is... SPARTA?

That only one will survive, and you should be wondering who it will be?

That I can't F***ing read this, as it has no words on it?

You should NOT, in fact, tase me bro?

That I've got a big bag of crabs here, and I'm going to put them in my mouth?

That Chuck Norris Will Kill Me If I Don't Put Some Type Of Joke Here?

That enough is enough, and that I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing plane?

That Impossible is in reality really Nothing?

That I would not go onto Blogger, as I hardly know her?

That there is a Snake, there is a Snake, there is a Snake?

That my Dick is in a Box?

That Mr. Pibb and Red Vines is equal to Crazy Delicious?

That I've got a Crush on Obama?

I Can Has Cheezburger?

That I am the Juggernaut, B**ch?

That in Soviet Russia, you DO know?

That the Internet is Not a Big Truck, and not something you just dump something on, but is in fact a series of Tubes?

T|-|4t 0|\| t|-|3 I|\|t3r|\|3t, p30p13 4ctu411y t41k 11k3 t|-|1s?

That I enjoy big butts, and am incapable of lying?

That I look forward to reading a blog post and or comment about this soon?

Owning Up

You know, for all that stuff for saying I don't really care when stuff happens, and going with the flow...

I really hate when someone corrects me.

Is This a Bad Thing?

Hey Sweet-Socks.

I pose a question for you.

Is it bad that I enjoy parts of Ke$ha's music?

I mean, of course it's awful, in that "OH MY GOD IT'S ALL AUTO-TUNE SHE CAN'T SING WHY WAS SHE EVEN GIVEN A RECORD LABEL ALL OF HER SONGS TALK ABOUT SEX AND ALCOHOL AND DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY MEANING IT'S SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!"

But on the other hand, it's really funny.

I mean, just listening to her sing these songs, I just get kinda bubbly and dancey and want to have absolutely no cares whatsoever, as if nothing wrong and this is the most we have to worry about right now. Plus, some of these lyrics are ridiculously hilarious.

Besides, what she talks about isn't the worst things we're facing right now. The whole world is going to pot, and there hasn't been much fun while doing it.

What I'm saying is this; We need a little bit of time just to let loose. If it isn't the time then we'll make it that way. Because we could either remember this year as the year we started rebuilding with a ridiculously fun atmosphere, and in the future, cast it off as silly and wanton.

Or we could sink inevitably into bad stuff for a long time coming, and just not have any fun, put our backs into work and forget what the world was like when it was happy.

Personally, I want to start off this new year and decade with a bit of fun.

Why I Like Ze People

Because corporations have no soul, they suck away your remaining years doing an unimportant job in an uninspiring cubicle of crushingly depressing gray.

Because politics have no mind, they can't think of anything that is remotely helpful in any way, shape, or form. What ever you want to do, you will fail, as the brain is the most important part of the body, and if the brain fails, you fail as well.

Because people, despite occasionally being soul-less and brain-dead, have a much higher chance of doing something right.

Because people also have a heart.

Whole New Year

Hey McDoodles!

It's been six days into the whole new year, decade, first years of the rest of your life!

Which means that something important should have happened!

Did you save any lives? No?

Well, did you save the game? No again?

Um, well, did you do well in school? What, really? Huh.

Did... did you watch a movie? Or even just a clip? Wow.

Did you even do anything remotely interesting?

Just a Child

Let's say I'm a child. (That's pretty easy. I am one.)

Let's say that I haven't seen much of the world yet. (Hell, I haven't even driven a car.)

Let's say that I spend a bunch of time learning about the world, through various sources. (Through, say, I don't know, the Internet.)

Let's say that from my varied and non-biased learning, I come to have my own opinions of the world, at least a few. (Okay, that works.)

Let's say that I want to express my opinions on a website devoted to this kind of thing. I may not know all the answers, but I know some. (It's a valid way to make arguments, if not win debates.)

Does that mean I'm fair game to insult? Should I be ridiculed, thrown down, spit upon?

Does being a child mean that I don't know as much, and that my opinion doesn't count?

I am human as much as you are, just as right and just as wrong.

Respect that.

Sometimes...

Sometimes, on the days when all around you people are screaming and shouting and generally loudly voicing their own opinions without listening and nobody even cares because they love the sound of their own screaming voice too much and won't take any other opinion into account and you can't hear the sound of your own thoughts let alone voice because all around there are people who are waiting to be heard and need to be heard and are getting heard more than you and there's nothing you can do because you can't scream or yell or even whisper quietly to yourself and all the while just waves and waves of noise and people wanting and wishing and hoping and generally being people beat down on you and make you small small small small too small to do anything too small to make a difference too small to shout out the answer even though you're trying but now you don't even know what to believe because people make good points and bad points and points you aren't sure are right and some you are and now you can't even think for yourself because everything is too much and there is no one with you to stand next to you in case you lose sight of who you are and what you are doing and what you believe in and where you stand and what you want and there are too many people, too many people and they all say something different and you don't know what to believe in...

Sometimes on those days.

I just kinda want to hide.

But I won't.

Politics

I don't like politics.

Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of government, that there is someone out there who is protecting my rights as a citizen.

And I like democracy, the fact that we can actually choose who leads us, and that they'll do what a majority of the population want.

But I don't like politics.

All the nitpicking, the arguing back and forth between the two parties (and the other, lesser parties complaining they never get a shot at stuff.)

I don't like the fact that government is inefficient, wasteful, and largely corrupt, and totally ignorant to the people's wishes.

I don't like the insults directed towards either of the parties, or from the thoughts and stereotypes that they stem from.

I want a government that will protect our rights; our rights to privacy, liberty, safety, and happiness.

I don't want a government that doles out our rights, like some sort of god, and fails to do even the most basic of tasks.

People

Sometimes I wonder about people.

For example, today I read the back and forth conversations between a few liberals and a few conservatives. It was really depressing.

And on the plane ride back from Connecticut, I sat between two people who kept up a steady complaint about how terrible the trip was. (Granted, it took two hours just to get off of the ground, so I'll give them that.

How can the world be so full of people like this?

Yet even so, I still liked those two people on the plane. They were pretty okay.
And I still understood (some) of the reasoning behind the complaints these liberals and conservatives were making.

And today I had a chance to go to a YouTube gathering, and hang out with a bunch of people who were just completely shiny.

And everyday I have friends who understand me and give me a helping hand, a friendly shoulder, and a big (metaphorical) hug every day.

I guess... I guess the world is just full of thoughts that make it worse than before, and populated by people who make it better.

Let Me Tell You a Story

Hey Homes-ies.

Let me tell you a story. If you are in this story, or know someone in this story, don't get weirded out. It is after all, just a story. Just a story.

So anyway. Last year.
Freshmen year.

I think it's the first day. Let's just say it is.

Walking around school, checking it out.

See a girl.

Hey, she's cute.

*Sigh* Probably just gonna look at her from afar. Wonder what her name is?
*Sigh* Jake, Jake, Jake. What is up with you? You never do anything. You're probably going to just notice her in the halls on occasion, wishing you knew her better. What the hell man.

(Flashforward)

Aye yo, guys, totally just gotta new girlfriend! Holla at you' boy! Course, gotta, gotta give her a little space, you know?

Hey guys, meet Whitney.

(Little voice in head: Hey. Isn't that that girl? Weird...)




It was...it was just kinda weird...you know?