Woo, New Year!!

Yeah, New Year's Eve!

Resolutions or something!

Staying up night and day!

Drinking... Drinking parties?

Just a Thought

Hey Peeps.

So I went to New York the other day. (Turns out I'm the World's Worst Shopper. Seriously, if you planned on getting anything from me prepared to get at least a bit disappointed.)

And I'm walking down the street.

And all around me are these people, the people that make up the 8 million plus people that are living in and looking at New York at any one time.

And usually, I don't look at them. Cause really, you can't. You shouldn't. Social Taboo, or anxiety, or just regular old human nature prevents you from staring at these people. You begin to treat them as just a part of an obstacle course that fate, or society, or nature has set in front of you.

But I'm looking at them.

Looking directly at their faces.

I want to see them. I mean, who are these strangers, these pedestrians, these humans walking down the street in the opposite direction as me? Who are these people, these shoppers and striders who refuse to look me in the eye.

And the more I look at them, the more I want to know them. I want to know them as I know myself. I want to see what makes them tick, what makes them happy, and sad, and angry, and thoughtful, and disappointed. I don't want to see them as just random strangers on the street, silent and lonely and then disappearing forever.

And suddenly, they're not just to be a distraction, fleeting and forgotten.

These...strangers. They are people.

They inhabit this world, and they have the same insides as me, and breathe the same air as me, and sometimes even have the same thoughts as me. Perhaps, they're trying just as hard to me to find out about people, and look just as hard into my face, trying to find out what makes me tick.

They are real.

Just as real as you.

Just as real as me.

Style-age

Dude-a-ma-bobs.

I don't have a style.

Or, at least, I don't have clothing that I particularly enjoy wearing, except for maybe four or five shirts that I wear constantly, and my favorite (not to mention only comfortable) jeans.

The rest is my clothing is stuff that I wear occasionally, that I don't really enjoy wearing, and that I don't particularly want anymore.

For example, I just recently ended my phase of buying shirts from every state. It was sort of a collection thing; some people have coins, or stamps, or movie stubs. I have shirts. Anyway, it was a very efficient way of getting new shirts and having a hobby.

But some of these shirts, I just don't want to be seen wearing. And I ended that phase, but the thing is, no new cool shirts were available to me.

So I still have to wear the shirts that I don't particularly want to wear anymore, and I don't really like that at all.

Which is kinda another reason why I wanted to go to New York this trip. Not only to get some music, but to get my own style, my own way of labeling myself the way I want to be seen now. Get a little current, get a little comfortable, and for god's sake, get rid of some of these old shirts.

Christmas

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
CHRISTMAS!!

Christmas is especially awesome this year, as I am spending time with my very cute cousins, who are 7 and a half, and are exceedingly cute.

I got pretty awesome presents this year, which included a Snow Patrol CD from Mom. (Thanks Mom!)

So far this Christmas, I pretty much have hung out, played in the snow, and done some more hanging.

Pretty much Shiny all over.

Vacation

So this vacation I am in Connecticut and it is very fun hurray!

However, this is not the time to tell how cute they are, are talk about how lovely it is to be here, or how silly their new dog is, or how white the snow is. Nope.

Right now is the time to talk about shiny, and how it relates to awesome.

Awesome is an awesome word, right? It conveys just how extremely likable something is, how awesome it is.

But... it's time for a new word.
It's been a decade since awesome rose up to the top and stayed there. It has been the word for the aughts (00's) and should always have a place in our hearts.

But... it's time for a new word.
It's a new decade, with new opportunities, especially for language.

That is why I am proposing a number of words that should replace awesome, coming into these teen years of the new millennium.

1. Shiny.
2. Froody.
3. Cracked.

This is going to be awesome. (Wait... Dang it. This is gonna take a while.)

Avatar

Hmm... Avatar.

No, that Hmm was not me wondering what to say about Avatar.
That was me savoring the wonderfulness that is Avatar.

My God.

How to I put this?

Avatar was like finding a 50 caret nugget of gold wrapped inside a foot of pure platinum.
Avatar was like taking the cinematography from the Lord of the Ring, making it ten times more awesome, and then making a story that only enhanced the amount of work that was put into it.
Avatar was like having your craziest dream ever happen. You know, the one with the flying dragons, and the girl, and the luminescence, and the jumping? Yeah, it was that one.

Every angle, every scene, every moment that was in this film enhanced the pure pleasure that was watching it in every way.

Anything made after this, it's gonna have to jump through a lot of hoops to reach these heights.

As some guy wrote a little while ago, "We live in a post Avatar world."

I say, "Bring it."

The Past

I re-read Looking For Alaska today.

And in it, Pudge was constantly being reminded of how Alaska died, how she was no longer here, but stuck in some cold coffin, buried and maggot ridden, slowly fading away.

And yet she was, was a constant ache in his heart and gut, how she was always there, even if just to remind you that she wasn't.

And even if she was gone, even if she has past, was the past, inside, she was still there.
Still alive in her glorious, curvy, moody, unpredictable ways, inside each of those who remember her.

And she could not be forgotten, not fully, not completely. Because one would always be thinking of her now, and later, and later, and on and on and on and on and on and on.

There is no use thinking of it as the past, because you always think of it as the present.

De Loreans

So...

What happened to all the De Loreans?

Did...

did they exist?

Cause...

I feel like I should want one.

Seriously though, did they exist?

Sarcasm & Sincerity

OH NOOOOOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just realized that almost NOBODY reads my blog.

That is so UTTERLY and COMPLETELY depressing to me.

Just think, out of the millions of people who should so DESPERATELY read EVERY SINGLE word that I write down, only five are.

Man, my life sucks SO BADLY right now.

UGH.



That was a lesson on tonnage on the Internet, and how hard it is to separate sincerity and sarcasm. Be careful!

Music

You know what I find awesome?

MUSIC.

I don't really know why, but I've been listening to a lot more music the last few weeks then I have in the past.

Actually, something about growth and musical tastes may be in there, but that's not really the full picture.

What I mean is, I've suddenly realized that there is a whole universe of good music out there, and I've never even heard of it. And that's bad, because music is so good. It just makes me more in tune with the way the world works, how I fit in with it. It makes me happy, it makes me think, it makes me want to throw off all the worries and just rock out.

And that's...
There's just something about wanting to do that that makes music so cool. No matter where you are, who you are, what you like, music has the power to connect people. And it gives people a chance to connect with themselves.

Also, it's pretty cool that you can just throw a bunch of words concerning zombies and a rocking, show shattering, party disturbing, pool bashing, hospital exploring, zesty cheese dip melting melody/ rock god/ indie ho-down melody, and have people call you an "unexplored genious."

Now, if you excuse me, I got some nursery rhymes to create for modern children.

Busy Week!

No it hasn't.

This week has been pointless.

I have not done anything this week.

Which is just the way I like it.

Sickness

Bleah.

I'm sick.

It's not very fun.

For the past few days, I've had a runny nose, a cough, a sore throat, a headache, my eyeballs hurt, and I think I'm dehydrated. Plus, there's this other thing that I won't mention on here (for fear of making someone feel sick) that's come back, and last time I had it, I was out of sync for almost two weeks.

And now it has come back.

And I'm going to New York and Connecticut in a week.

Sickness
Creates
Red
Eye-balls
And
Moans

S.C.R.E.A.M

Helping People

So the Project for Awesome is about to go up on YouTube, right?

And this year, I really want to be in it, so that I can feel more connected to the community.

Just one problem.

You have to promote a charity.

And I don't have one.

"Well Jake, that's no problem. Just find something you believe, or something you care about."
Actually, that is a big problem.

I don't have anything or anyone to care about.

Isn't that sad?

I spend all my time talking about how I want to connect with people, how I want to find their souls, how to make them find mine.

How can I do that if I don't know a single person to make a wish for, nothing that I would give my time and my life for?

Who am I, if I don't have love for anyone?

A Talk

So my friend Alex came over today after school.

And we did the stuff that friends do.
Hung out, ate some food, watched something stupid on the internet.

But something different happened this time.

After doing all the other stuff, we talked.

About who we have been. We've been through so many things over the past few years; gone over to new friends, left some behind, walked a balance between what was then and what is now.

Alex, you know, he wants to be happy.
He wants to make others happy.
And he's one who can make that choice, and follow through with it too the end.
And maybe sometimes in the past he once left his old friends for new, but he's a man who never truly forgets something that important.
Alex, you make the world a better place.

And I've changed too.
I'm no longer a shy boy forever wrapped inside a cocoon of introversion, so scared of what other people thought that I had to create an alter-ego just so that people could despise that instead of me. I care for people, and try to understand them, and make them laugh, and find what makes them tick.

And we talked about who we want to be.
We want to be happy, we want to help people, we want to reach out to them.
We want one day, to just sit back and look upon days like they were new and full.

Dreams

I like my dreams.

I don't know about you, but my dreams are some of the most awesome dreams that were ever created.

In my dreams, I create worlds, people, conversations that I had never even thought about before.

But why don't I remember them?

This are interesting things, these dreams. I can't have a silly thing like regaining conciousness allow anything to be detracted from them.

So, starting tonight, I'm gonna try and begin a dream journal.

Each morning, right when I wake up, I'll try to put all of what I dreamed into this thing. Hopefully, by doing this, I'll be able to put myself in the right mind set to actually remember my dreams.
I'd like you guys to try this too.

Yeah, it might be stupid.
But hey, at least when we try to talk about our dreams, they won't be stupidly boring.

Here ' goes.

Unfathomable

You know, lots of great literary figures, as well as regular people, use these things called "Words."

And I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but occasionally, you can use words far too much.

Sometimes, people, in an attempt to make themselves understood, hide behind so many feelings and descriptions and unnecessary words that they don't make any sense at all.

I just want to say what it is that I'm feeling everyday.

I don't want to mention drowning, or searching, or a new beginning, or anything like that.
Because I'm not.

I'm right here.

Really Cold Here.

As it is really freaking cold here, and also because it is almost time for me to go to sleep and forget about everything today, here is a free-style write-up thing that I have written right now.

It is really freaking cold.
Nobody acknowledges this but me.
Everybody dies.
I cry.

Alternate Version:
It is really freaking cold.
My fingers are numb.
No Zombies, they're frozen.

And another thing:
It's really cold.
Come on Portland, snow already. What happened to all that moisture you're so fond of showering on us, huh?

Gah, I need to go to bed.
So... Cold...

Chinese Class

Ho hum.
What to say about Chinese Class?

Well, what do you want to hear?
That we all suck at speaking Chinese?
That we have no ability and will to learn?
That we continuously don't try, and then make up excuses for it?

I want to learn Chinese.
That's what I say.
That's all I've said about this class for the past few years.

But let me say this.
Every time we do anything, we are constantly, constantly, berated by the teachers.
For years now, we've had teachers attempt to set up boundaries, set up goals, set up ways to make us stop misbehaving.
Nothing has worked.
Partly because it's our fault.
But partly, because of theirs.

WE DON'T WANT TO BE YELLED AT CONSTANTLY.
WE DON'T WANT A TEACHER WHO IS WISHY WASHY.
WE DON'T WANT A TEACHER WHO, EVEN AFTER THE REPEATED TIMES WE SAY, DON'T GIVE US A POWER POINT, WILL STILL GIVE US A POWER POINT.

WE WANT A TEACHER WHO WILL MAKE CHINESE INTERESTING AGAIN.

We just want you to make us want to learn it.
Give us the tools, and give us some motivation.

We'll see how far we can succeed.

Lost Our Minds

So I've been listening to a lot of music lately.

And I've been reading a lot about Zombies.

So who better than me to put those two together?

Without further ado, Lost Our Minds

Dying in a Zombie Apocalypse
And the only thing I think of is your lips
Here I am, one of the last alive
But it feels like I've already turned dead inside
You said we could just runaway
Cause Zombies can't run, they lose their prey
But this new kind of life, I can't fit in
Cause I still love one of the bitten

Wooooah, Moans of Hate
Wooooah, Stars go Grey
Wooooah, Cannot Hide
Your voice is still with me, by my side

And it looks the start of a new age
Where we look real, but inside we're all enraged
Mindlessly killing those with just brains
And nobody cries anymore when it rains
I've lost the will and the way to be true
Cause the way pointing North was always to you
But now you're just one of dead
Nobody here is right in the head

Wooooah, Moans of Hate
Wooooah, Stars go Grey
Wooooah, Cannot Hide
Your voice has gone, from my side

Procrastination

Hey Dude-a-ma-bobs.

What the hell.

Seriously.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

I've got all these things I want to do.
I mean, I really want to do these things.
But for some reason, I just sit.

ALL FREAKING DAY. ALL THE TIME. JUST AT THE COMPUTER. LOOKING AT SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE WHEN WHAT I REALLY WANT TO BE DOING IS MY OWN.

I mean, take this example:
On Nov. 20, I went to Hank Green's Gig, and had a night I won't soon forget.
I taped it, hoping to make a video very soon (Partly to get more subscriber's, but also because I had a great idea for it.)

It is now December 5th. I still haven't made it.

What. The. Hell.

Why do I do this? Why is it that I can't just sit down and take care of the things I want to do?
Why do I care so much about other people's lives at the point that I can't fully live my own?

I want to scream at this.
I want to cry.
I want to stop forgetting my life.

Clouds

So the sun was setting over the West Hills, right? But just above it were all of these clouds. And you know, usually, clouds don't look that great.

But these, man, these were great clouds. I mean, they didn't just take the gold glow of the sun, they transformed it into something more, fuller and more tangible. They turned into giant cotton balls spun with gold. And within each of these cloud, a bit of the sky had been stolen, and so inside each one was a mix of blue and gold and beautiful hues never thought before.

All this week its been like this. Perfect afternoon sky, the sun is going down, the clouds giving it more life than it had ever intended on this day.

And then I realized that people are sorta like clouds. They may bring about the rain, and sometimes cover the earth with a dark, dreary presence, but when something amazing happens...

That's when they shine.

Sleepy... Vampires?

You know, being this tired should not be allowed.
Seriously, I feel like my life is draining from my eyes.
This is not good, as I have so much life to live!
And so many things to do.
Which I can't.
Cause I'm tired.
And not a vampire.
Who can stay up all night, listening to the soft, lightly sensual sounds of themselves breathing.
They only close their eyes so that they can listen to the pain and suffering of the world that much better.

Obviously, we should punch them for being so Emo. But we can't because their muscles are so hard!

Therefore, vampires have only been put on this earth to drink the blood of people, and put them in a state of ever-increasing irritability and puchiness.

To make a very head-achy rant short, Vampires suck. (Woah, didn't even see that pun coming. I am that tired. Ugh, sleep, come for me now, I'd rather it be you than a vampire...)

Awkward...

In honor of some sort of thing, here is a handy dandy list of things that are awkward. Try them out on your friends! (Disclaimer: do not try these out on your friends unless you want it to be awkward)

-Walking in the same direction as someone, right after you've said goodbye to them.
-Sitting in between two people who are obviously into each other.
-Hot and Sexy Makeout Sessions in front of your friends.
-While you're walking and or sitting next to someone and having nothing to say, even though you kinda just had a conversation.
-Starting to chant when no one else does.
-Dancing when no one else does.
-When the teacher asks you to further explain your topic, but you totally just made up everything the period before this class and have no idea what to say, so all that comes out of your mouth is stuff like: "Um, well... well, um, hmmm. See, um, well, um, you see... um. Um."
-A pause in a conversation longer than 4 seconds (science shows that people can only handle up to 4 second pauses in a conversation before bringing up a new topic.)
-First Dates.
-Seeing your ex make out with your best friend, who is the same gender as your ex.
-Admitting to having an addiction.

EDIT (1/4/09)
-Also awkward: Standing next to someone in a urinal and not being able to go, so you're just standing there.
-Even more Awkward: Peeing at the same time as someone else.

Luckily for me, I relish awkwardness. I Challenge it! In fact, I like awkwardness so much that its personified version would feel awkward around me, because I only stared at it longingly.

So I just got one thing to say.

Bring it! Anybody?




(Also awkward; Feeling awkward talking to yourself on the internet.)

Anniversary

Today, my friend and his girlfriend (who, non-coincidentally, is also my friend) celebrated their one year anniversary.

I drew a comic in the style of Dinosaur Comics to celebrate this fact. Below is the transcript:
(Panel 1)
T-rex: Anniversaries are good, right? Especially on Dec. 1st, they are good.
(Panel 2)
T-rex: Good for HOT AND SEXY MAKEOUT SESSIONS!
(Panel 3)
T-rex: Hey, Dromiceiomimus, do YOU like hot and sexy makeouts?
Dromiceiomimus: Why yes, especially when they are hot and sexy.
(Panel 4)
God: GUYS I ALSO LIKE HOT AND SEXY MAKEOUTS
T-rex: Awesome! God also likes hot and sexy makeouts!
(Panel 5)
T-rex: What about you, Utahraptor?
Utahraptor: While generally I don't advise makeouts, on your anniversary you should have one.
T-rex: A hot and sexy one?
Utahraptor: YES.
(Panel 6)
T-rex: Anniversaries are good times for makeout sessions. If you had one on Dec 1st, you should totally have a HOT AND SEXY MAKEOUT SESSION RIGHT NOW.
(Title Text)
Throughout writing this comic, I kept on switching "sexy" and "sweaty" in my mind.

In serious life issues, it makes me sad that I don't have a girlfriend.
Aw wells.
Here's to hoping.